| saddest little girl on earth.
||[Feb. 26th, 2006|08:34 pm]
Its Your Turn To Try.
so i left my boy this morning. it was really so hard. im supposed to become a pro at the whole leaving thing. somehow i feel like its getting harder. i feel my face growing hot already. i cried and cried and cried on the plane. im very thankful nobody said anything to me about it, or asked me if i was ok. i probably would have yelled at them or started crying harder. probably both. i had a blast with matt. its feels so right. hes so good to me, i've yet to have a bad day with this guy. if i had my education under control, and my money situation was right, id move out there with him in a heartbeat. its so hard being so close,sleeping in the same bed, to being thousands of miles away. in matter of hours. he keeps telling me everythings gunna be ok, and that the time will pass quickly until the next time we see each other again. im gunna try and get down there...across there? sometime in april. that is if he has a three or four day pass. the more i think about it, the more i want to buy my ticket now. but also thinking about it, the more i go see him, the more times i have to leave him, walk away from him, watch him drive away. that eats me up alive. i cant handle it.....no i can, i just love this boy so much i wish i could be there for him. just be there when he gets off of work, to rub his back after carrying his ruck, to wash his clothes so he has some extra time to nap, to cook for him so he doesnt have to eat tortilla chips for breakfast...i love him. i love him i love him i love him. none could ever ever ever possibly understand. im convinced. i want ice cream|